A New Endangered Species

Conservatives kuh n-sur-vuh-tiv n: 1)A person who actually believes that people should be responsible and accountable for their own lives. 2)A person who is God fearing, family loving, law abiding, and uses their common sense first and their government last. 3)A person who is happy to say the pledge of allegiance, not afraid of hard work and proud of making a profit.

This species was once commonly found throughout North America. Some researchers believe that it was this species, along with the help of God, that was primarily responsible for creating the greatest and most prosperous society in the world which was commonly and proudly referred to as the USA. The population numbers of this once remarkable species began to decline significantly in the late 1980’s and early 1990’s. This was primarily caused by an invasion of liberalism from South America also commonly referred to as “Amnesty” as well as an epidemic of socialism a.k.a “Big Government” that was introduced to the population in the late 1990’s from Europe. This epidemic of socialism eventually became so widespread that researchers now believe it even led to some cases where a sub-species called “Republicans” ultimately resorted to a strange form of cannibalism and began killing their own kind. Sadly, today only a few of these conservatives can be found in America. They usually exist is small pockets in some of the western and mid-western United States and can often be spotted near church houses, small parks and other “Family Friendly” environments. If you are lucky enough to encounter one of these few remaining conservatives approach them respectfully and do not under any circumstances attempt to give them any liberal or socialistic B.S. as many of the remaining population also belong to the N.R.A.